Christopher V. Flett

I spent some time with a friend last week who is driving her career forward. She is a hell of a talented professional and knows that in the next decade, she will define the rest of her career. Too often, women put themselves last and instead focus on their husbands, boyfriends, families, and kids before paying any attention to themselves. This is a mistake. You need to find time to honor yourself as you honor others or you are going to be left holding the bag. The friend I was with told me that she used to plan for herself all the time, but over time,  her planning started to sneak to the back burner. I have asked over 10,000 women over the last 8 years what they wanted for their ‘big picture’ and I’ve yet to find a woman who could give me a clear answer. Get a journal, a pen, and a hot cup of coffee and do the following exercise:

Here are some questions to consider when bringing your plan from the back burner to the front:

1. What do I want to be known for professionally?
2. What do I want my working life to look like?
3. What type of professional role model did my mother play for me?
4. Am I with the type of partner that supports my development, or do we only plan as a couple?
5. What type of money do i want to make? Do I limit this amount because I think I’ll have to give up too much?
6. What are my friend’s mindsets around career? Are they climbers or happy to stay average?
7. What are my 20 greatest limiting beliefs? How have these gotten in my way?
8. What are my 10 worst habits when it comes to success and having the life I want?
9. Who stands in my way (beside me) to reaching my goals? Can these people be converted from obstacle to observer or even supporter?
10. What things would I ask for if I could have everything?
11. Who do I know that has it all or has what I want? Have I asked them how they have accomplished what they have.? If not, why not?
12. Have you used excuses as to why you don’t have what you want? (i.e. I have kids. I’m too old/young. I don’t have a degree. It’s a recession.)

The sad thing is that of the 10,000 women I’ve asked this question to, they all had the ability to build the life they want…but most don’t. They find acceptance that they will never have what they want because they don’t BELIEVE it is possible. If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it isn’t. Society doesn’t support the visionary in us. It supports the critic. The part of your mind that tells you why things won’t happen or can’t happen. Mediocrity is an epidemic that can only be stopped through action. Fear may hold you back, but it can also drive you. What if this is your last chance to make things happen? What if in 40 years you are looking back wondering why you didn’t do something today?

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“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.”