Christopher V. Flett

God damn it! I love this show. There is NOTHING more in line with how investors look at companies that this show. I tell every young person I know that this needs to be part of their weekly routine. It is a no nonsense view of what the big boys (and girls) talk about when discussing a deal. Here is my commentary on tonight’s ‘pitchers’:

Deal #1 – Sock hat company

Two guys are a bit cocky. What they are missing is the understanding of manufacturing, full scale retail development, and a web presence. I think this might be a company that is simply looking for the publicity rather than the money. They joked in the back room about going for Champaign at the Royal York. Guys, you might be going for Champagne, but begging for money on national television and getting shot down isn’t something to be celebrating. Robert was right. Apparel is hit or miss. If it hits, it can hit big. If it misses, the money and time are in the toilet, but at least you can wear your failure to keep warm in those nights living in your car. Who should they have tried to line up with? Arlene

Would Flett invest? Not time or money.

Deal # 2: Microwave Slippers

I liked this idea, the valuation was fair, but the family wanted a knight in shining armour to come in, take over running the company and pay them. The kids weren’t committed to the company as they didn’t want to work in it (this isn’t bad, but don’t sell it as a ‘family company’ then). Their sales are decent, but leave it to Bret (who is much too charitable and thus must be too rich) to give them a SWEETHEART deal. What I did like is he said, “I’ll give you some money and a line of credit, but I won’t give you my time. Lesson my friends: Time and connections are worth WAY MORE than money. You can get money from the bank. Running with a big boy (ie. Bret or any of the dragons) is your best investment. (p.s. they had a nicely put together presentation).

Would Flett invest? Money, not time.

Deal #3: Theme Park

#1. Who wants to build something in Aurora? They guy was a bit of a douce to Bret which isn’t a good way to start. Then he became a douche with his cutout model with retarded colors behind it. He is a laughing stock. Who lets their friends on television? Arlene is hilarious. He’s got notes written on his hand. This guy is high on BC Bud or something. He reads off his chart. HORRIBLE PRESENTER KILL HIM AND THEN KILL ME.  The building will cost…wait for it…1.4 Billion dollars. Kevin thinks he’s a retard and he’s right. Jeffrey (the presenter) thinks that the world only has 3-6 months left. Hopefully his spaceship will come and pick him up before that.

Would Flett invest? I want those five minutes of my life back.

Deal #4: Tree Saver

“One Sku Sue” has sold 20,000 units and has distribution. Big deal. Not that hard to get.  She has valued the company at 2.5 million…RETARD. Her idea isn’t a bad idea. Her sales were $400,000. Evaluation is about 5x what it should be. People need to be realistic with the ask. Bret offers 250K for 50%. SHE SHOULD TAKE THAT DEAL! Kevin offers her a royalty deal which would also work for her as Kevin would pimp the hell out of it to make a good cut. All she will give up is 20%? She’s a bit crazy I think.

Would Flett invest? Nope, no, nay, umm no.

Deal #5: Yingle Stick

This is a sling shot stick with beer caps that hit each other and make noise. He and I are both from Nova Scotia. After watching this, I’m telling people I was born in Alberta. Jesus. Quote of the night: Kevin: “This is the true definition of poo-poo on a stick.”

Would Flett invest? If you have to ask, quit reading this frigging blog.

Deal #5: Let’s Dance Board Game

#1. one of the better presentations of the night. #2. I love entrepreneurial kids. #3. Frigging cute!

Second best quote of the night: Kevin (said with distaste): “I’m not doing any dancing…it’s bad for my brand”. People will think Kevin is a dick because he’s asking them tough questions, but these kids need to be treated like anyone else and I love that. He isn’t talking down to them or patronizing them. He is talking to them like they (and he) are serious. “I don’t want you to waste you time girls…it’s really hard to make money in the board game business.” When Robert says that the girls should listen to Kevin because “he crushes people’s dreams.” Kevin laughs because he thinks it’s funny. Maybe I was the only other guy laughing, but I love it. Bret gives them $500 to build some games to sell.

Would Flett invest? I’d do the $500 because I’m a sucker for young entrepreneurs.

Overall, not a great night of pitches on Dragon’s Den. My money would have stayed in my pocket and my time doing other things. Now piss off, quit reading this blog and go build your business model.