Christopher V. Flett

I don’t play well with others. I try, god knows I try. But I just don’t like it. It’s not that I don’t like doing work with others. I do…some people. I guess it’s just that I see people in business looking for me to do everything for them. Fine for clients, not great with alliances. I like to know the role I play and the role they play. When these roles are defined, I like that. When they are muddied, I want to take my ball and go play by myself. Here are two examples. One of me playing nicely, the other not so much.

Example 1. Me playing well with others.

Went to a meeting with one of my coaches on Friday. We had lunch with one of her clients and before we went in, I asked her: “What role do you want me to play and what role do you want to play?” She told me what she wanted me to do and what she wanted to do. We went in the meeting. Had an engaging conversation with the client, she charted a course of action for the three of us, we left, debriefed on the way back, and it felt good. No drama, no struggle. Two independent people engaging in mutually beneficial work and each doing what we do without needing the other to make it happen. She showed up and I showed up. We did our thing and moved the opportunity forward. This type of situation I LIKE (said with a Borat accent).

Example 2. Me not playing well.

I met with a US alliance last time I was in Seattle. We had discussed a course of action to acquire some new opportunities. I’m the planner; he’s the doer. We sat over dinner discussing the different goals we had for June and what needed to get done in the next 30 days. Two weeks after the meeting after hearing nothing, I called him. He had got caught up on something else (personal) and was wondering if I could ‘help’ him get his part done. “No asshole. I’m not going to do your part and my part and share the money with you. Not interested. Alliance done. Good bye.” I’m not interested in playing both positions in the relationship. We have an old Alpha Male acronym, FIFO. (Fit in or F*CK off). If you want to be a winner, act like a winner.

Lesson to learn? Don’t let idiots waste your time. Life is too short. If you are doing business with people that can’t get it done (partners, alliances, vendors, etc.) you need to get rid of them. You aren’t going to bring them up; they are going to bring you down. I’m fortunate with the coaches in the Ghost CEO. The are all players. They selfishly want to get it done. I selfishly want them to get it done. Thus we get it done together. Here is the quickest way to get deep-sixed by someone like me in the business arena:

• Be late for a meeting or stand me up. (my schedule is busy and I’m always shocked when someone is 10-15 minutes late for a meeting with me. I have a 5 minute rule now. You are 5 minutes late and haven’t called? I leave and no more meetings for you. I especially like it when you tell me that you ‘didn’t think it would be a big deal.’
• Waste my time. Show up to a meeting unprepared and looking for me to tell you want we are going to talk about. If you want to be my equal, be my equal. Be a boyscout (girl guide) and be prepared.
• Waste my money. Ask me to invest in things to make ‘us money’, only to show me no return on the investment. My money is like my kids. When it leaves my wallet it says, “Daddy, am I ever coming home?” If I can’t answer “Yes!”, then I don’t let the little guys go.
• Question my expertise. You want to do business with me? Then let me do what I do.
• Not do your part. If you show up without having done your stuff. I mentally check out. I might sit there and nod, but I’m plotting your professional death.
• Ask me for help and then not be ready when you asked for it. People all the time ask me for introductions. Then when I go to do them, they tell me to wait. I’m sorry people. I am not sitting here waiting for the chance to build you opportunities. Trick me once, shame on you, trick me twice…I’ll eat your lunch. If you can’t get it done, you lose all credibility with me.
• Don’t tell me how you are going to: help me, make me money, impress me, shock me, etc. If you are going to do it, let your actions speak for themselves.
• Don’t introduce me to wood. ‘Wood’ are people that just don’t get it but are looking to be inspired. I’m not looking to de-throne Tony Robbins. I don’t want to make people give a shit. If you don’t give a shit, stay clear of me please.
• Don’t tell me you are going to do something and then don’t. I can make a list of about 100 people I know who were going to: write a book, travel the world, make a million dollars, get on television, blah, blah, blah, blah. Talk is cheap. Let’s see action. There is never a shortage of people who want to sit down with me to tell me how they still haven’t done what they said they were going to do.
• Don’t owe me money and think that I forgot. I don’t have a problem with people owing money. I have a problem with people owing money and not taking steps to organize payment. If I have to chase you for money, we are going to get serious quickly. Take some steps to show me that you honor your debts.
• You aren’t just like me. Every day I hear someone say, “I’m doing this just like you.” Really, just like me? It doesn’t look like how I do it. It isn’t the same outcome I’m getting. Let me guess…I’m lucky? I was in the right place at the right time? The timing isnt’ right for you? You’ve been really, really busy? Save the drama for your mama pikers. If you were just like me, you’d be kicking the shit out of yourselves trying to achieve your goals rather then sitting back talking about how ‘tough it is.’

Long story short, I prefer to play alone. I like the conversation, I know when I’m being fed a line of bullshit, and I can ignore myself if I’m getting too obnoxious. There are certain people that I don’t tire of connecting with. The Ghost CEO team, Paul Rovers (my partner in the Hanging Pig), and a few other partners I have. The great thing about these people is we can tell each other to fuck off, but we still always deliver on the bottom line.

Moral to the story. If you want to ride the big train, act like you have a ticket.