Christopher V. Flett

In this world of political correctness, we are so far removed from reality, we find ourselves in a constant stake of bullshit with one another. Recently a colleague brought up the topic of ‘everyone’ gets a ribbon in kid’s sports. WTF? Are you serious? Every kid now gets a ribbon? I know, I’m harsh. Kids need to feel good, blah, blah, blah. When I was growing up, competition was fierce for the trophies. You worked hard, stayed committed, and fought to win games, tournaments, and championships. When you lost, it felt like shit. Your life sucked, you moped around the house, you wished evil upon the winner’s house, etc. Now they want to do away with this for kids. Everyone’s a winner!?! What’s next? Get rid of the Stanley Cup? Super Bowl? Tour de France? How about we get rid of CEOs and we all take a turn running the company? Hell, if we work hard, we can stand in line for bread and toilet paper and really be equal.

“Success and victory are overrated.” Anyone who says success doesn’t matter hasn’t had any of it. Anyone who says victory isn’t sweet, has never won the race. Lance Armstrong doesn’t go in the Tour because it is fun to bike up mountains. He does in it to WIN. Winning is important. You need only a taste of it once, to be hooked for life. Kids need to learn this. Hell, why get ‘A’s if D’s will pass you. Why do well on your driving test, if 55% is the pass. Kids don’t need to be THE best. They need to be THEIR best and it is up to us to model this ourselves and teach it to our kids. How many parents out there would bring the company into the family room and say, “Look at all the participant ribbons that Kelly has received. She’s never won anything, but she competes all the time.” Ummm, I don’t think you will put those out in display. They will go into some cupboard as you find something for Kelly to do that she is more ’suited for’.

When did we start believing that everyone should get acknowledgement, regardless of their contributions? “Here Billy, you came in first. Here’s a ribbon. Here Tom, you scored on your own net three times, but had a smile on your face. Here’s a ribbon.” Really?!?

There needs to be winners and their needs to be losers. Hello?!? Natural selection. The winners need to work to stay winners; the losers need to work harder to become winners. Telling kids that it doesn’t matter is setting them up for imminent failure as adults. I drive a nice car, live in a great neighborhood, travel first class, and stay in nice hotels. It is because I worked to have this life. I made sacrifices that others weren’t prepared to make. Now I have people say, “well if you are flying first class, so should I.” Really? Should you? Then do the work you piker.

The great thing about losers is they like to hang out with each other. Rather than keeping each other accountable, they chip in to help make excuses for their individual and collective failures so that they can all feel warm and fuzzy about being sub-mediocre. Here are some examples I heard on a recent trip:

• You didn’t get the promotion? It doesn’t matter.
• Everyone is going on the company retreat except you? It doesn’t matter.
• You make $30,000 less than your male colleagues? It doesn’t matter.
• Your underling is now your boss? It doesn’t matter.
• The boss walks into your office, drops off his work and picks up his golf clubs? It doesn’t matter.
• You can’t get your business to grow because you won’t get off your ass? It doesn’t matter.

People put more time into excuses than they do into honoring success. It is time for us to re-shake the paradigm and look at personal excellence again. My dad and I had a chat last week and he said, “Chris, you set unreasonable expectations of those you work with.” I said to him, “I don’t want them to be my best….I want them to be their best.” Whenever I give shit to a client, colleague, or partner, I say to them, “Was that your best effort?” I have NEVER had them admit that it was. They might be trying hard, but they are not giving it their best. When I fail at something (barf…hate to admit that), 99% of the time is because I didn’t give it FULL effort. It has been a rare occasion when I haven’t gotten what I wanted when I have directed my focus and attention on it. It’s time we start holding each other accountable to making magic happen. But you have to want it more than anyone else. I learned this as a kid. My parents told me that “no one is going to hand it to you. If you want it, take it. If you don’t want to do the work…well then shut up about it.”

Instead of saying ‘it doesn’t matter‘ when you get passed over for a promotion, ask yourself, “why didn’t I get that promotion and what do I need to do to get it next time?” I think this generation and the next need to remember that hard work, dedication, and 100% commitment is what takes dreams from idle chat to reality.

• “I’m going to build my business.” (Then do it!)
• “I’m going to write a book.” (Start working on it!)
• “I’m going to lose 20 lbs.” (Then lose it!)
• “I’m going to get a new account.” (Then go get it!)
• “I’m going to find a new job.” (Then go find it!)

What the hell are you doing to make that happen? What are the measurables? Do you think that by ’saying your are working on a manuscript’, it will magically come to life? Losing is part of learning, if you use what you learn from it to stop losing. I think kids and adults benefit by seeing the very best (in whatever area) go up on the podium, get the award/trophy/cash and the applause of the audience. The losers think, “I wish that was me.” The winners think, “that will be me.”

If you see me fail at something and come up to me with a ‘participant’ ribbon. I’m going to look you in the eyes, smile and say, “stick it in your ass. I have work to do.”