Christopher V. Flett

It’s such a cliche for people to hook up at work. When this happens to single people at work, the guy looks like a stud and the woman looks like a slut. Sorry, it’s true. When a married buy hooks up with his single secretary/assistant/colleague/boss, he looks like a douche; she like a slut. Two married people hook up a work…they both look like douches.

I’ve had a couple of companies I’ve been working with where the office place romances are rampant. Married guys with their secretaries. Female VPs with new sales guy. It is so frigging cheesy, I can barely handle it. Any the guilty parties are such morons, they think nobody knows what’s going on. Aside from being fired for poor decision making, they should be fired because they are so god damned stupid. Men have a saying, “Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.” We all know it, but the biggest geeks in the herd think this doesn’t apply to them. Then they get snapped with a sexual harassment suit which leads to divorce, alimony, child support, and lonely nights. For the gals, I see secretaries hitting on the owners, partners, and senior associates of firms. They think the quickest way to success is the casting couch in big daddy’s office. Are you kidding me? He is going to tell his buddies at the firm, you are going to tell your friends because you bagged one of the Alphas, and the whole company is going to know he is a douche and you are a slut.

I know, I know…it’s true love. If you are both single, then one of you should leave your job to avoid the stereotype. What? You don’t want to leave your job? But….it’s true love! If you were that serious, one of you will leave. Now if he is married. Well….that’s another story. You are the home wrecker, the slut, hooker, and all the other names you inherit through your actions. This dick is going to cheat on his wife with you. Maybe he is going to leave her. He only sees his kids on the weekend anyway. Right? Well, he may or may not leave her. If he does, you might become the next wife. Then a couple years down the road, he is going to be working late and you are going to be wondering if the pattern is going to repeat itself. Guess what? Yes it is, and you have just become a statistic, a soon to be ex-wife, and a woman in mid life without a career, a relationship, or a plan. Well done!

So if you listen to anything I’m saying, here are some things I want you to consider to avoid the bitterness that will inevitably follow a woman’s bad decisions in this area:

1. If he is married, he is unavailable, even if he says different. If he wants to date you so bad, tell him you can talk about it ONCE his divorce is finalized. Let’s see how serious he is.
2. If he is single, ask him if he thinks he or you should leave your jobs. You don’t want to be seen as the slut and he as the ‘typical’ twat. If he will quit his job, it might be love (or he wants to stay at home and play XBOX). If he wants you to quit, he wants to dis-empower you from having a career. Strong men like strong women. Dump this loser and find someone else.
3. If you work for him, that’s just nasty and typical. Don’t be that girl.
4. There are lots of guys out there. Find someone else somewhere else.

I’ve been called the anti-Christ and now you are probably thinking I’m the anti-Cupid. This is not so. I’m a big fan of love, relationships, rainbows, and puppy dogs. What I don’t like is women giving up their power to dumb ass men who will use them, dump them, and find the next one that comes along. Respect yourself and engage in relationships that empower you, not destroy your professional relationships. No scarlet letter for you!