Time to grow up ‘man-boy’
Is anyone else concerned about the sheer volume of men who are refusing to grow up? A guy that works for one of my clients was looking a bit tired a week ago. I asked him if he had been out the night before and he said that he had been waiting for a game to get released at midnight. I looked at him confused and asked what type of game. He said a new game for the Xbox 360. There was a huge lineup to get a copy and he and his friends waited in line for 9 hours and then played it through the night. He mentioned this like a badge of honor in his accomplishment.
I looked at him and said, “Jason. You are fucking 35 years old. You stayed up all night to get, and then play, a video game?” His smile disappeared at the scolding and I shook my head and walked away. Is this what happens when men don’t grow up with fathers? I don’t know about you, but if my dad was sitting cross legged on the floor playing packman when he was 36, I’d think (then and now) that he’s a douche. I’m not saying that a guy can’t play games (video included) with his kids, but….with his kids. He shouldn’t be standing out in the Vancouver rain so he, and his fellow man-boys, can get ejaculatory over some new version of a game coming out. Then they wonder why their employer thinks they are a loser, they can’t keep a job, and real men (those that have matured) don’t want to engage with them.
I asked a cousin of mine, who has a ‘gamer’ boyfriend what the attraction was for these guys. She said that these types of guys enjoy the interaction with one another and it’s fun. Is anyone drawing the correlation here between guys who play these games and these same guys lacking motivation, not dependable, and in dead-end jobs. They take pride in being ’skilled’ players and a feeling of ‘accomplishment’ when they get to the next level.
I played arcade games as a kid and even in high school, but my dad would yell for me to “get my shit together, quit wasting time, and go do something productive.” So I got my shit together, quit wasting time, and did something productive. I wonder if mom’s have these conversations if there is no dad in the picture? I don’t know, but I would assume most do. If they do, then why are these guys still hiding in the dream world of virtual reality? Another friend who works in the gaming industry said that more and more women are getting into gaming so they have something to do with their gamer men. Can you say co-dependent behaviour for women who won’t hold their men to higher standards? My friend who works in the gaming industry doesn’t completely understand it either, but admits that it is big business. With an economy where people are getting laid off, these gamers are the ones most likely to go, yet the least likely to do anything about it.
Truth be told, maybe it’s best that these guys sit in front of the game console and escape into their dream worlds. They attract one another and stay out of the way of people who are contributing in some meaningful way to business. But note to these man-boys. You may be a hero in your game, but when the power goes off, you go back to a sad ‘real’ life.
Ladies, if you have guys like this in your life, remember that 90% of success is related to the people you spend your time with. If you have a guy like this in your life he isn’t going to do anything to create a better opportunity for you. He will be too focused on ‘teaming’ up with other geeks to get to that next stage. Join me in encouraging these man-boys to re-engage in real life and put away the games. Reminds me of a famous quotation:
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Are we propagating a slacker mindset in society with these virtual reality options? Is there ‘dream world’ really better than what they can experience in the real world? If so, it is sad for us, but even more sad from them. Ask the gamers in your life what, exactly, it is they are looking to escape. Maybe it’s a question they have been waiting to be asked? What’s sadder is the people in their life who simply accept that this is the way they are going to be and do nothing to correct the behaviour. They will argue that it’s different, but I see a grown man who plays x-box 4 hours a day no different than a middle aged man playing with Lego or GI Joe. You can say that they are young at heart, or you can simply admit that they will never grow up and become men.
C/
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Great point Chris. I don’t get why these guys won’t grow up. Maybe they don’t have lives? I can’t understand women attracted to these types of guys. My friend’s husband plays a game called Halo every week with his friends. He’s 34!!! For this, as well as other reasons, total loser.
I don’t think it is a big deal if guys get together to play RockBand during a party, but it is a bit creepy for all these guys who play online games with people around the world. How do these guys get girlfriends? I’m guessing online dating?
p.s. I liked your last post, but what’s with your infrequent posts? I like a Flett Rant to finish off my week. Let’s get a schedule going Mr. Flett!!
Samantha, I haven’t met one of these gamers that has anything noteable going on in their lives. I think that the virtual world is much more kind to Beta males than the real world is.
Lisa, thanks for the note. I’m writing for a handful of blogs and often forget to put my ‘R’ rated comments here. I’m looking to get a little more active next year. In the meantime, piss off!
Cheers,
C/
Hi Chris!
Hmmmm, this one makes me pause for a moment, as I know a lot of 30+ yr old men who play Xbox360! When they play those games where they play live against other players around the world, then I think that’s actually a nifty way to connect with new people.
I don’t know, what guys do in their spare time is their business. I guess if it starts affecting their work, then yah, they should grow up and get a handle on it.
Katy
I always knew that gamers annoyed me, but now that I’ve read this (truly awesome) rant, I can add a new dimension to my annoyance. Somehow I missed the parallel that these “guys” are not just checking out of real life: they are measuring their accomplishments in the realm of gaming and calling them life accomplishments.
I doubt that any of these guys have girlfriends anyway. Is there really women attracted to this type of guy? I’m guessing for both the men (and the women that date them) it’s a question of self-esteem. I think there is probably a direct correlation between guys who play these games more than 5 hours a week and very poor people skills.
A guy that I work with plays an online game called Warcraft. He has his own ‘nickname’ and talks with the other guys in our office about things he wins, tools he buys, etc., and it is all referring to this ‘online world’ where he is king. I feel very sad for him.
Tina.
p.s. When is there going to be a “Flett Rant” show on the radio? These periodic spots on the Beat 94.5 aren’t enough for me! Keep going Flett!
I dated a guy who played these games at night and on weekends. I lived with him for three months and he was on the computer all the time. I finally came to my sense and dumped his sorry ass and kicked him to the left.
I do use his Wii for the fitness program though. I don’t know if it is the same thing, but I really like doing the workouts. Maybe I’m becoming a 15-year old boy?
I agree with Tina’s comment. I think that men and the women who date them, have a self-esteem issue if they can’t find anything better to do then play these video games.
I have to say I don’t agree with these comments.
Speaking as a gamer, with a very successful job in finance, I find that playing games a couple of hours a week (perhaps between 4-10 hours) is not only incredibly relaxing, but just also a great opportunity to chat with friends for a few hours and catch up while we play; either in person, or over the microphone.
I don’t find that these games are detrimentally affecting my social life in any way, as I’m always willing to drop a controller in favor of a night out. I definitely spend more time going out for a beer and laughs with family and friends than I do spending time playing video games. Not only that, but I find that a lot of my friends are just like me in that respect.
I don’t think i’m a “hero” (i’m definitely cognisant that i’m just playing a game), and in no sense living a “sad life” in real life.
Playing games is no different from many other hobbies, whether it be shopping, chatting on the phone, fixing up the car, etc. It’s an activity which can be quite social (and sometimes not), and keeps you relaxed. It’s entertaining and gives a sense of fulfillment when you are able to beat that extra hard boss, or narrowly edge out a victory on your friend while playing a game of NHL.
Yes, there are definitely gamers out there without much going on in their “real lives,” but a lot of the best athletes, musicians, doctors and business people in the world play video games. Why not focus on some of these people as well, and stop stereotyping what the life of a Gamer is?
I honestly have a boyfriend that plays videogames with his friends afterschool… Honestly that’s WHAT they do, if not video games, drinking and chewing at the same time. I want a man that knows how to throw a damn football. All i think of is, when he gets out of highschool and goes to college that maybe he will do something with his life because he wants to be a doctor…but honestly is it worth the wait, what if it’s video games for him….and then failure for me. I love the article. I’m sick of lazy asses that don’t know how to work. I worked my ass off and still continue to try. I can’t stand people who don’t make themselves have a life