I spent the last ten days cruising up and down the west coast with a quick stop in Vegas. Many of the entrepreneurs and professionals I met with this past week came to me to discuss ideas they had for business/career advancement. One thing that almost everyone had in common was this ‘process’ that they felt they had to follow in order to get to where they wanted to go. When I asked them how they had developed the process that they were following. They told me that it was derived from feedback they received from others. When I asked if their advisers had ‘done’ this themselves, the answer was unanimously…’no’.

So the question arises, why the heck would you take advice from someone who is telling you the ‘theory’ but has never practically applied it? Oh, I know…because that’s what we all learn in university. We learn about theory and how it ‘could’ be applied, but not how it ‘is’ applied.  This seems to be spilling over into the business world. Armchair quarterbacks are giving advice that they have really never taken themselves and professionals and entrepreneurs alike are taking this information as gospel and wondering why it isn’t working.

Take a moment to consider where your business information/advice comes from. Is it from someone who has been to battle or someone who has ‘read’ about battle. Are you taking sales management advice from someone who has managed a team or someone who watched someone manage a team? Are you taking investment advice from someone who has made their money in the market or someone who watched a Discovery Channel show about Warren Buffet. Talk is cheap, but not if you follow the advice and go in the crapper. If you want to learn how to do something, find someone who is doing it and ask them how, ask them to mentor you. Ask them to coach you, advise you, sit on your board. We’ve lost track of the apprentice model of business. Back in the day, if you wanted to be a master craftsman, you sought out a master craftsman and studied under them. Today, everyone says they are a ‘master craftsman’ butt they’ve never picked up a tool in their life. When taking advice, consider the source and don’t jump through any hoops that the lion tamer hasn’t jumped through themselves.

I have said time and time again (and even wrote about it in “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business”) that it is a mistake to expect fairness in business. You can’t control how people act, but you can control who you do business with. Even being focused on working with the right people, you’ll still find yourself staring at someone who thinks they can take advantage of a situation and that you’ll roll over and take it. This my friends is a time for you to rely on your agreements. You don’t have an agreement you say? Well, what the hell were you thinking? Did you you think that everything was going to be rainbows and unicorns? Did you think that at some point, that Dr. Jekyll didn’t have a little Mr. Hyde in them? My dad had a saying:

“Business is business and friendship is bullshit. Your friends will fuck you over money if they get the chance.”

I always thought the old guy was a little too worried about getting worked over, but after my technology idea went sideways, I learned to have things in writing. If a deal is worth doing, it’s worth having in writing. But having the agreement is only the first half. The second half is enforcement. A contract is worthless if you won’t enforce it. The great thing about this is we have a legal system that will interpret the contract and determine who is in the right, and who is in the wrong. A client of mine is struggling to get paid by a client. She has an agreement and she is taking this dirt bag into small claims court to collect the money. It isn’t about the money (it rarely is). It’s about not getting rimmed by someone who thinks you are a pushover. You can be nice right until the point where they take advantage of you. And then, you let the agreement speak for itself.

Get all your business dealings in writing. Take it from a guy who is never surprised how far people will go to kite someone else, a signed contract simplifies a lot of legal issues. And if someone tries to take advantage of you, go the distance. You owe it to yourself and to your business.

Last week I spent a couple of days doing training for HSBC Securities in Toronto. As part of our agreement, they flew my first class from Vancouver to Toronto. I am a firm believer of flying first class. Aside from the additional space (which I require at 6’6″), there is a business case for flying in a more civilized way:

1. I spent a total of 9 hours in the air. I was able to complete 8 hours of work at a billable rate of $400/hour. I billed $3,200 in time in the air. I was able to lay out my laptop, my paperwork, all while enjoying a continuous coffee service. In coach I understand that it is almost impossible to have our laptop out if someone is ahead of you and reclining in the slightest. You are banging elbows with the person next to you, trying to keep any additional paperwork on your lap, and heaven forbid you have an aisle seat. Someone has to ‘tinkle’ and you are up with your work product in your arms. The flight was on sale at $2K but even at $4K, I bought back 8 hours of workable time that would have been other wise wasted watching “Free Willie 6 – Isn’t that fish dead yet?”
2. Flying is a waste of time. If you can get your work done, you get from point A to B AND bill work that you would normally try to do waiting at the airport, or when you get to your hotel. My work was done by the time we landed so I could relax in the hotel and have a good night’s sleep.
3. Most first class fares come with access to the business lounge. If you are in some shitty airport that doesn’t offer WiFi, the lounge will get you connected to dump work product when you land or upload it before you board.
4. You meet interesting people in first class/business class. You get the odd upgrader (someone using their points), but in most cases, you are with either the rich (no much business value) or other senior level professionals that you can chat with. I made two great connections on the way to Toronto and one on the way back.

I hear all the time that ‘first class is a waste of money’. Yes, and so is wearing leather shoes, eating out in restaurants, and going to a movie. Life’s too short to be a money martyr. Don’t think about “why you can’t afford to fly first class”. Think, “what can I do to make enough to fly first class?”

Consider flying first class or at least business class if: A) You are flying over 3 hours and B) You bill more than $200/hour. By getting your work done on the plane, with lots of room, not only can you arrive and relax, but you remind yourself that you are building a profitable business so that business class isn’t a luxury, it’s the only option.

Remember, friends don’t let friends fly coach.

Cheers,

C/

(p.s. Yes I know that whales aren’t fish.)

My seat

First class on an Airbus 330. (Air Canada)

One student told me how much money she would make me if I hired her. Yet, she doesn’t make any money for herself nor has any proof that he has done this anywhere else. Does anyone see the gap in logic here? What if instead she said, “I’m eager to learn what you have to teach me. I’ll do what you ask of me. I’m prepared to work hard to show you that you are making the right decision with me.”

With prospective business partners, it is more of the same. I have some budding entrepreneurs showcasing how we can make money together (which I like) only to then put demands in place on how I will work with them. What I learned (after getting punted out a lot of deals) is that my good ideas were shit if I couldn’t deploy them. I could take my ball and go home, but I ended up having a house full of balls with no value. Everything I have today was because of the sacrafices I made to learn the ‘craft’ of building business. I got my ass handed to me 5 or 6 times before it finally got into my young, thick head, that I might have a good idea, but without the right direction and leverage, my idea was just that…an idea. I guess that’s why I love Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank. Entrepreneurs come in telling the investors how much their company is worth. Many are valuing at $1,000,000 but have fuck all for sales. “Yes, but I know this is going to be really good. You can count on me!” Sorry Muppet, you can’t pay the bills with ‘hopes and dreams’. When you stop ‘buying your own PR’ and realize that you don’t have any credibility nor experience in the market, you’ll be ready to learn. If you think you know everything already, you’ll never be able to receive new instruction.

For me, ideas I was hot for a week ago, are now starting to feel a bit weird for me. Am I prepared to teach? Yes. Am I prepared to argue/debate a point with someone who doesn’t know how to build a business model…no. I think what is best when you find yourself in this situation is to let the other side who ‘knows’ what they are doing, space to do it. The best test of talent is to put it into the market and see how the market responds.  I’ve been known to miss opportunities by letting things go. I’ve also saved myself a lot of frustration and disappointment by betting on ‘dogs that can’t hunt’. Let your intuition guide you. Better safe than frustrated. If someone has all the answers, don’t offer your support. They don’t need it. The market can be a cruel bitch. She sorts things out for people who ‘know everything’.

What’s the value of a recent grad? The value is in direct relation to their willingness to learn practical application after four years of theory. Just because you watched Rocky 100 times doesn’t mean you know how to box when life smacks you upside the head. For grads, heres a simple equation for you to figure out and justify what you bring to the table:

(# of valuable business contacts /not friends from school)

x

(years developing business)

x

(# of successful business start ups )

x

(your ability to ask good questions and take direction)

x

(your specialized skill set that no one else has)

x

(reputation in the market you want to enter)

=

professional value.

What’s yours?

C/

I wanted to make a statement for all the business professionals out there that are getting more and more frustrated with poor cell phone manners. It is time for the pikers of the business world to get over their belief that they are important. Unless you are a trauma surgeon, a first-response paramedic, or in some other position that manages life and death…you don’t need to check your Blackberry/PDA/iPhone during a meeting/presentation/lecture or other business event.

I remember being the first guy on university campus with a cell phone. I’d walk around with it in my hand to make sure that people could see that I had it. I was a total douche, but to my own defense, I was 19 and cell phones were the new hot thing. Now I see people checking their email during our meetings and I think one thing…why am I sitting here? I’m not talking about people looking to reference an email pertaining to the meeting, going through a digital agenda/checklist. I’m talking about people that need to check their phone every couple of minutes just to make sure that the outside world can reach them. Notice to these people. No one is impressed by you being a ‘bitch’ to your communication piece.

I remember the story of a media mogul. He didn’t have a cell phone nor a watch. When asked why he didn’t have a cell phone, he said that if someone wanted to get a hold of him, they could call his assistant and she would come and find him. He didn’t wear a watch because he didn’t have to keep a schedule for anyone but himself. This is a man in power of his business life. Now we look at the individuals that waste my time by looking at their phone/pda while in the middle of a meeting .Then they wonder why I try to get out of the meeting as quickly as humanly possible. If you can’t put your phone down for a one hour meeting, you shouldn’t be in meetings. You aren’t a mogul, you aren’t important, and you aren’t impressing anyone. What you are telling people is:

• You think you are more important than you are
• Any email that might come in is more important than our time together
• You are controlled by technology rather than having control of technology
• You shit the bed so often that you need to have your phone on so when one of your fuck-ups comes to light, you can quickly defend your actions

In January, to start a new year off with a bang, as soon as I see someone checking their voicemail,email,text, etc during a meeting, I’m going to excuse myself and find something else to do. Remember that you can’t control how others act, but you can control interaction. Oh and I should add…it isn’t ever appropriate to take a phone call in a restaurant or movie theatre. If I am in a restaurant (by myself) and a call comes in, I leave the table and move into the lobby of the restaurant so as not to disturb others. It’s called courtesy.

So now that you know, you can’t unknown. When you answer a phone, check your email, or text someone during a meeting, the person across from you might not say it, but they are thinking you are a douche.

Ladies, I need to tell you something. Everytime you tell people you work with what your husband/boyfriend thinks about a situation in your work life, you make him look like a douche and yourself like a weak woman who needs her man to explain things to her. This week, I have heard no less than 11 women talk about a situation in their business life and then justify their position by saying what their husband/boyfriend thought.

Example:

“I really felt that I was treated unfair in the deal. I didn’t get the percentage that I wanted and was hoping things would have turned out differently. Bob (husband) agreed and said that I should have stuck to my guns and asked for more or walked way.”

So on hearing this comment, my natural curiosity wonders what Bob does for a living. The woman sharing the story is an established entrepreneur so I’m assuming Bob is a business owner, business lawyer, accountant, business developer, sales rep, sales manager, or investment banker. Bob’s feedback must have value if it is confirming her position. So I ask…”What does Bob do?”   “Oh…he’s a produce clerk at Save On Foods.”

Are you shitting me? You husband stocks onions and you are bringing him up as a reliable champion for your position? You husband is the manager of fruits and vegetables. What the hell does he know about putting a deal together. Never having the guts to run his business, he gets to be co-captain and give his two bits? I think not. When you bring up your husband/boyfriend in a business setting, please make sure that he has accomplished something other than lining up all the new potatoes in a neat line. Do you know how foolish it looks to bring him up in a ‘real-world’ setting? If the conversation was around how to keep herbs fresh in the kitchen, Bob’s your man. But when it comes to business, if your husband hasn’t achieved anything in your business sphere, don’t bring him up.

I know, you are proud of him. He’s a great guy. Funny. Likes to watch America’s Next Top Model with you. He is supportive, likes to give you feedback, and wants the best for you. But in business, he has no value at the discussion. If you are the business woman, be the business woman. Unless hubby/boyfriend is an ‘expert’ in the area of the conversation, don’t bring him up. It makes you look weak, and your peers will lose respect for you. It happens to me everyday. Someone I know will be having a problem they want to discuss. Then they tell me what their husband/boyfriend thinks they should do. At that moment, I lose a bit of respect. If he is a lawyer and its a law issue, let’s hear what he has to say. If it is a business development issue, and he works part time as a free lance writer, its best for you to keep his comments to himself.

In business, there are many arm chair quarterbacks. They will all have opinions for you and unfortunately, you have a hard time avoiding them. But let the madness stop there. When you regurgitate their idiot comments (ones which they have now foundation to comment on) you look like an idiot as well.

Is anyone else concerned about the sheer volume of men who are refusing to grow up? A guy that works for one of my clients was looking a bit tired a week ago. I asked him if he had been out the night before and he said that he had been waiting for a game to get released at midnight. I looked at him confused and asked what type of game. He said a new game for the Xbox 360. There was a huge lineup to get a copy and he and his friends waited in line for 9 hours and then played it through the night. He mentioned this like a badge of honor in his accomplishment.

I looked at him and said, “Jason. You are fucking 35 years old. You stayed up all night to get, and then play, a video game?” His smile disappeared at the scolding and I shook my head and walked away. Is this what happens when men don’t grow up with fathers? I don’t know about you, but if my dad was sitting cross legged on the floor playing packman when he was 36, I’d think (then and now) that he’s a douche. I’m not saying that a guy can’t play games (video included) with his kids, but….with his kids. He shouldn’t be standing out in the Vancouver rain so he, and his fellow man-boys, can get ejaculatory over some new version of a game coming out. Then they wonder why their employer thinks they are a loser, they can’t keep a job, and real men (those that have matured) don’t want to engage with them.

I asked a cousin of mine, who has a ‘gamer’ boyfriend what the attraction was for these guys. She said that these types of guys enjoy the interaction with one another and it’s fun. Is anyone drawing the correlation here between guys who play these games and these same guys lacking motivation, not dependable, and in dead-end jobs. They take pride in being ‘skilled’ players and a feeling of ‘accomplishment’ when they get to the next level.

I played arcade games as a kid and even in high school, but my dad would yell for me to “get my shit together, quit wasting time, and go do something productive.” So I got my shit together, quit wasting time, and did something productive. I wonder if mom’s have these conversations if there is no dad in the picture? I don’t know, but I would assume most do. If they do, then why are these guys still hiding in the dream world of virtual reality? Another friend who works in the gaming industry said that more and more women are getting into gaming so they have something to do with their gamer men. Can you say co-dependent behaviour for women who won’t hold their men to higher standards? My friend who works in the gaming industry doesn’t completely understand it either, but admits that it is big business. With an economy where people are getting laid off, these gamers are the ones most likely to go, yet the least likely to do anything about it.

Truth be told, maybe it’s best that these guys sit in front of the game console and escape into their dream worlds. They attract one another and stay out of the way of people who are contributing in some meaningful way to business. But note to these man-boys. You may be a hero in your game, but when the power goes off, you go back to a sad ‘real’ life.

Ladies, if you have guys like this in your life, remember that 90% of success is related to the people you spend your time with. If you have a guy like this in your life he isn’t going to do anything to create a better opportunity for you. He will be too focused on ‘teaming’ up with other geeks to get to that next stage.  Join me in encouraging these man-boys to re-engage in real life and put away the games. Reminds me of a famous quotation:

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Are we propagating a slacker mindset in society with these virtual reality options? Is there ‘dream world’ really better than what they can experience in the real world? If so, it is sad for us, but even more sad from them. Ask the gamers in your life what, exactly, it is they are looking to escape. Maybe it’s a question they have been waiting to be asked? What’s sadder is the people in their life who simply accept that this is the way they are going to be and do nothing to correct the behaviour. They will argue that it’s different, but I see a grown man who plays x-box 4 hours a day no different than a middle aged man playing with Lego or GI Joe. You can say that they are young at heart, or you can simply admit that they will never grow up and become men.

C/

I’m frustrated. Since 2001, I’ve been preaching the leveling of the playing field in business. Let men and women compete head to head, regardless of gender. Let each professional bring their biggest game and let the results speak for themselves. Then an amazing thing happened. The recession. Men, considered leaders in business, shit the bed and destroyed the business models they were charged with managing. Women, like a phoenix out of the fire, came up and took the reigns for recovery. I say, hallelujah! Women are stepping into the big game and kicking this shit out of that glass ceiling! Sit in a job you hate, with people you don’t respect to make a shitty paycheck? We say….NO! Work with shit clients who are high maintenance and don’t respect your time? We say, “Piss off bad clients!”

Women were stepping into the light and asking for what they want. A better life, more time outside of work without financial repercussions, the belief and ability to have exactly what they want, thus modelling this behaviour for their sisters, daughters, and friends. It was working and I felt vindicated. Then this past week happened.

I got call after call, and meeting after meeting with women who have chosen fear over freedom. Who wanted to talk about why they couldn’t make things (work/change/better/more profitable/a better fit – choose your own reason) and how they wanted to pack in all their development and give up. It makes me sick. Not sick for me, sick for them. They can make this decision and I believe it will be one of the worst and most costly decisions of their entire professional careers. They are rolling over on their back and showing their belly to the world. They don’t have the confidence to make it happen so they shrink back into the masses.

I don’t get this whole confidence issue with women. You can do it, you know you can do it, so why over think the situation, not give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and throw in the towel? What does that tell you and the women in your life? That you quit. They you can’t get it done and everyone that supported you was wrong. Ladies, get your shit together. Here are the questions I want you to ask yourself before you sneak out the side door en route to success:

• Did you give it your all?
  
• Did you commit 100% of you attention to getting what you were aiming for, or did you let things get in the way?
• Do you find yourself making more and more excuses as to why you can’t get it done?
• Are you looking to blame someone else for the outcome?
• Have you mentioned the economy in any of your conversations for not hitting your goals?
• Are you settling for the life you have rather than the life you want? If so, what are you teaching your kids?

I’ve been beat in business. I’ve had my ass handed to me and laid on the floor bleeding and bloody, but I have never given up with a tail between my legs. I have never, ever quit until I have exhausted all possibilities. I then lick my wounds and start again. Winners do what losers won’t. That’s a fact. When you give up, you tell everyone (the women in your life in particular) that it is easier to quit than succeed.

To give a completly opposite example (a woman with confidence), I have a client that this week, decided to radically change her business model. She has been building a successful model for the past few years, and factors, outside her control, intervened and started to put her into a challenging situation. Rather than playing the blame game or any of the other ‘easy options’, she took matters in her own hands, orchestrated a major restructure of her company, and is moving forward with determination. She doesn’t know what the future holds, but she does know that she isn’t a quitter and if it can be done, she’ll be the one to do it. Is she scared? Probably? Is she uncertain? Yes. Is she confident that she can make things happen? Of course she is. She has the tools to make it happen and she is committed to a successful outcome. She worked as an employee before starting her company and she cannot and will not ever go back to having someone tell her what to do. I don’t remember ever being more proud of someone. She made a tough decision and will prosper because of it.

Be confident goddamn it! Have a little pity party for an hour or so and then move on towards the goal. Even Jerry Maquire (Tom Cruise) had a pity party when he got kicked in the professional nuts, but he moved on. Here’s his quote when he is getting shit on:

“I’m finished, I’m fucked. Twenty four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now… I’m a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I’m wearing, you like it? Because I don’t really need it. Because I’m cloaked in failure!“

Then he sucked it up, dusted himself off, and got back on the horse. That’s what I need you to do. Have your party, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse. Don’t stay with the shit because you don’t think you can get it done. You can, but you have to BELIEVE it! You, not your boyfriend, not your husband, not your neighbour, not your dad, not me. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. IT LIES IN YOU! Four different women said to me this week, “I need you to talk me off the ledge.” I said to them, “no I don’t. You need to shut up, or jump. The only thing worse than a loser is a loser who drags it on.” Harsh? Yes. True? Yes. If these women decide to go back to playing small, it isn’t no me. It will just remind me that they aren’t my type of people anyway.

Remember, everyone can quit, but it takes a special person to face into the wind and sail through the storm of doubt. It is you, and only you, than can chart the right course.

I don’t understand the mindset in business that it is okay to be late for meetings. Every year, I have 10-20 people who beg, borrow, or steal for a meeting, only to not show up on time, or blow off the meeting entirely. When I call to find out if: their dad/dog died, their car broke down, they contracted a disease, were detained by Homeland Security, etc., they act bewildered on the phone and say, “I must have written it down wrong. When can we reschedule?”

Well dough-hole, you can’t reschedule because you have wasted an hour of my time that I will never get back. I would have preferred to: read a book/have breakfast/go for a long walk on the beach. Anything other than sitting waiting for your disorganized ass to show up. If you can’t be on time, you shouldn’t be in business. IF you are going to be late, for whatever reason, call and let the person know. I lose about 90% of the anger is someone calls, even a minute before the meeting, to let me know that they are stuck in traffic, just run over the neighbourhood paper boy, or run out of gas. But as the clock strikes 10:00, I start looking at my watch. At 10:01 I’m ready to forgive; at 10:05 I start packing up; at 10:15 I’ve written that person off for future meetings. Let’s talk common courtesy. If I have a 10am, I’m circling the place at 930am. If I have never been there before, I’ll even be an hour early and do some paperwork in the car. I don’t want to be that guy that can’t get his shit together, but it seems the punctual club is losing members. Here are things you aren’t likely late for:

• Catching a flight
• A speaking engagement
• A wedding you are participating in
• A court date
• A spa appointment

Maybe I’m wrong, and you

I’ve been talking on and again about how we are losing touch of relationships in business because technology makes it easier and more convenient to do business. Well…yes and no. I can have conference calls with clients/partners around the world for free (Good), I regularly get pissed off by an email on a weekly basis (BAD). The problem with email is that people you have no connection with feel empowered to talk to you like they know you. They haven’t established any form of relationship and they start making requests like you are responsible to them. This is not only wrong, but a quick way to get deep sixed.

Case in point:

A colleague has an administrator fresh out of school. This person is not seasoned in business, is in the big world, and probably assumes that if they act like a big dog, they’ll one day become a big dog. This works with pikers, but not with big dogs. The email went something like this (please keep in mind no relationship is in place.)

—

Chris,

Bob asked me to ask you to send the financials in a non PDF format to put into the business plan. It is too hard to read.”

Thanks,

Administrative Assistant person.

—

Let’s look at this piece of correspondence and identify the fatal errors that tell us that the person in question, lacks experience and common sense in dealing with someone like we who doesn’t take orders.

1. “Chris“. Okay, when we address people in western civilization, we have a salutation. It can be:

• Good afternoon
• Hi
• Hello
• Hi ya
• Bonjour
• Greetings

I don’t give a shit what it is, but don’t start your correspondence like you are summoning my attention.

2. “Bob asked me to ask you .” Don’t waste my time by telling me that you answer to someone. You want to be an equal, don’t tell me that your master has instructed you to do something. Just ask for what you want and get to the point. Don’t try to establish a hierarchy of how I’m getting my information. What your telling me is the person you report to was:

• Too busy
• Too important
• Uninterested
• Not sure how to approach me
• Other

And thus has empowered the lackey to connect with me and waste my time. Two strikes. One for master and one for lackey.

3. “Please.” It goes a long way people.

Don’t tell me what you need and why you need it. I don’t give a shit. Ask me for what you need politely and I’ll do my best to deliver.

—

This might seem obvious to most of you, but having basic business skills is a necessity in today’s world. Especially when communicating digitally. Here is what the email should have looked like for her to get what she wanted. Will everyone be a hard-ass like me? Probably not. Will Alphas handle her like this? Definitely.

Hi Chris,

Could I please have the financials in Pages format to include into the business plan. I’ll get them in and send you and Bob both copies for your files.

Thanks for your time,

Admin Assistant.

—

If you are wondering why some people ignore your emails, don’t engage, or simply ignore you, have a look back at your communications with them and consider not what you meant to say, but likely what they heard through your email tone. It could make the world of difference between getting what you want and being told to ‘go away’. For employers out there, watch what your people are doing. If in doubt that you might be dealing with an email retard, script the common correspondence for them so that they don’t embarrass you.