When I hear people say things like, “I want to be famous”, “I want to have my own television show”, or “I want to be like Oprah”, the first thing I think is…’do you really?’ One of the problems with today’s world is we glorify people on television, in the media, and who we have termed ‘worth watching’. Billions of people watch the royal wedding to comment on who is wearing what and if you ‘like it or not’. Everyone has an opinion on famous people even though you never have (and probably never will) meet them. Just because you know of them doesn’t mean you know them.

Seth Godin recently blogged about this phenomenon where someone didn’t like Angelia Jolie. When asked what movie they didn’t like, they said, “Oh, I haven’t seen any of her movies, I just don’t like her”. When you enter the public eye, everyone (and I mean everyone) has an opinion on who you are. They know you as they see you, not as who you are. The criticism doesn’t matter if you know that the work you do is important and contributes; it must be horrible if your only measurement of success is public opinion.

Wanting to ‘be like Oprah’ is just talk by people. If you truly wanted to be like Oprah, you’d get yourself a job in media at the age of 17, position yourself to have a talk show, do so for 25 years successfully, and then you could be Oprah. What most people mean when they say they want to be Oprah is:

• I wish people respected me like they respect Oprah
• I wish I had the money and power like Oprah
• I wish I had the houses and the lifestyle like Oprah
• I wish people thought me important like they do Oprah
• I wish people would add me to their list of people they want to meet

You know what Oprah wishes for?

• To walk down the street by herself, unmolested by fans
• To have a meal out without security having to hold crowds back
• For their not to be public discussions about her sexuality and her relationships
• That people focus on the good she does rather than things that happen outside of her control
• That people wouldn’t obsess about if she is gaining or losing weight

When people become famous, their lives change. If they worked at becoming famous just to be famous, it’s going to be a big disappointment for them. Things they took for granted (eating a meal quietly, going for a walk with their kids, etc.) all changes when people start to know who you are. You have a great deal of fans but sadly, a great deal of critics who all have an opinion of who they think you are.

If you become famous because of your work and your work is your passion, than the ‘becoming a public figure’ is probably a bit more bearable. If however you think that being famous is going to ‘fix’ something in you or will be your ‘quick trip to riches’, you are going to find yourself sadly mistaken. Jonas Salk, created the Polio vaccine, Van Gogh created beautiful pieces of art but was a poor throughout most of his life. Then we have the “Snookies” and the “Situations” of the world. That are famous, but absolutely contribute nothing to society other than acting as today’s jesters.

If you are driven by the external affirmation of your peers, rather than by what really floats your boat (your driving mission in life), you will find yourself after many years of climbing the slippery slope either regretting the fact that you never became famous or worse, regretting the fact that you did.

I’m noticing this epidemic of business owners who have chosen to ride Social Media as their main (and only) business development process, rather than build traditional business through networks, creating credibility, and talking to people. About once a week, someone in the social media sphere tells me that I should be doing more on Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, and other social media sites in order to ‘build more business’. The first thing I do when I get this advice is have a look at what they are doing. Some have 4,000 Facebook friends, 20,000 twitter followers, and they get their blog reposted by other blogs like it is going out of style. The one thing they don’t have is….clients. They have these huge networks of people, but are not realizing the benefit from all their efforts online  resulting in gains financially.

I guess maybe this is the Luddite in me, but I’m using Social Media to stay engaged with people i know, not to meet new people. I meet new people in real world situations and then decide if I want them into my social media network. I get many requests for Linked In (up to 10 a day), friend requests on Facebook (maybe 10 a week) and 2-3 twitter followers a day. Nothing to write home about or to brag about. But..I’m on profit model. I run successful and profitable business models by meeting people, looking for fit, engaging them if the fit is there, and doing business. Then we may or may not connect online through social media, although most I do connect with on Linked In.

So am I saying that Social Media is useless? No. What I am saying is it should augment your marketing and business development systems, not replace them. You will make more money with a couple of good face to face meetings, then you will getting 100 new twitter followers. If you are selling a service or a product, you can open up Social Media as a way to have future conversations online, that were started offline. I have yet to meet one non-technology service/product based company that has built their company through Social Media only.  Maybe I haven’t figured it out yet, but truthfully, no one else I know has either. There are some great companies out there doing their thing on Social Media like Magnify and our friend and colleague Norma Maxwell, but they are extensions of business development, not replacements of business development. Their services  lengthen the conversation, not replace the conversation. They shorten the sales cycle,not replace the sales cycle. Social media is an ‘add on’, not a ‘replacement’ at least not yet.

Watching this closely, from a non-technology viewpoint, I don’t believe you can sell online, if you can’t sell offline. You master what you do offline, and then move it online with the right strategy.

Now, off to play with my abacus.

C/

Great thought of the day is listening to critics, inside (your head) and outside (others). It’s rare that criticism has any positive meaning. It’s meant as an attack, disguised as an intellectual commentary. People who accomplish things don’t have much time to criticize; those that don’t have all the time in the world. Consider the source when hearing criticism.  I remember in the same week Entrepreneur Magazine suggested my first book was a “must read’ and then a donkey from the Boston Globe said that I “wrote the worst business book ever written.” Well, first of all, I doubt he has read every business book ever. Secondly, he is a three time author that has managed to sell less copies than the critically acclaimed book, “How to fix your Ford Pinto.” Those around me got mad at his review; I smiled. While he’s busy attacking me, I’m busy pacing him.

Whenever a person criticizes you, it is their stuff, not yours. It only becomes your stuff if you put value into it. Those that are trying to grow you won’t criticize; they will make assets and resources available to you.

Cheers,

C/

Just wanted to rant for a minute. I’m really, really, really tired of everyone talking about work/life balance. Here’s how I see it…people need work/life balance if they hate their work and/or hate their lives. It’s a way for people to make sure they don’t kill themselves because they hate their work. If you love what you do, you can enjoy it and find a way to embrace the other parts of your life. If you don’t love your work, find something that will float your boat. Life is too short to do shitty work. On the other side, if you love your work, learn when to put it away. You aren’t your work and your work doesn’t define you. If it does, you might want to look into getting some objective opinion on how you value yourself (re: shrink). Here are the Flett rules on how to forget the ‘balance’ and instead let both your life and work serve your greater needs which is to invest your time in things worth investing in.

1. Don’t start work too early unless you like mornings. If you do, cut off a bit early. Working too hard doesn’t impress anyone but yourself.
2. Work smart not hard. If you work at the same level each year, you are doing something wrong.
3. Consider the amount of money you earn in the time you earn it. If you are making $8/hour and you live in Vancouver, make better decisions, go to school, and quit eating Kraft Dinner. If you are making $200+ an hour and bitch about how hard you work, consider dropping your rate to $8 and eating Kraft Dinner. How does that feel?
4. Cut the umbilical cord with your Blackberry. Unless you are a neurosurgeon on call, turn the F&CKING thing off when you are on a date, with your kids, or at the movies. It screams, “I WISH I WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM!”
5. There is absolutely no reason you should have your cell phone on during a business meeting unless…you sell cell phones and need to demo one. You can use whatever excuse you want (waiting for an important call, your kid’s school might call, etc.) but overall, it is unimpressive.
6. Don’t answer emails on the weekend. Email is a privilege, not a requirement. If you wouldn’t call someone at home on a weekend, don’t email them on the weekend.
7. Consider what is really a work emergency and what you are making more important than it is. Who dies? If no one’s live is on the line, take a breath.
8. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It took many days, even months. Okay…years. As long as you are progressing, you are okay. If you are shrinking, stop the hemorrhaging by looking at what you are doing that isn’t producing.

If you are working in a job that doesn’t support your schedule, find a new job. If you are self-employed/own a business and don’t like your schedule, change your schedule. You’re the boss in both cases. On the phone with a client this morning, we realized that they were really busy doing stuff they shouldn’t be doing. Instead, they have people in place to do all the work that needs to be done. Step into that and happiness follows. Take a moment this weekend and decide what part of your work is serving your greater purpose and what parts are driving you nuts. Don’t balance the parts that make you nuts; eradicate them. If you enjoy going to work, you’ll get greater fulfillment in life. If your life sucks, don’t bury yourself in work, deal with the life issue. That’s why Ghost CEO rejects many prospective clients. They want to build business, but have personal issues that will get in the way. You have to make sure that both sides of you are being served and honored if you want to be happy, not balanced.

Agree, disagree? Let’s hear it!

Cheers,

C/

I spent the last ten days cruising up and down the west coast with a quick stop in Vegas. Many of the entrepreneurs and professionals I met with this past week came to me to discuss ideas they had for business/career advancement. One thing that almost everyone had in common was this ‘process’ that they felt they had to follow in order to get to where they wanted to go. When I asked them how they had developed the process that they were following. They told me that it was derived from feedback they received from others. When I asked if their advisers had ‘done’ this themselves, the answer was unanimously…’no’.

So the question arises, why the heck would you take advice from someone who is telling you the ‘theory’ but has never practically applied it? Oh, I know…because that’s what we all learn in university. We learn about theory and how it ‘could’ be applied, but not how it ‘is’ applied.  This seems to be spilling over into the business world. Armchair quarterbacks are giving advice that they have really never taken themselves and professionals and entrepreneurs alike are taking this information as gospel and wondering why it isn’t working.

Take a moment to consider where your business information/advice comes from. Is it from someone who has been to battle or someone who has ‘read’ about battle. Are you taking sales management advice from someone who has managed a team or someone who watched someone manage a team? Are you taking investment advice from someone who has made their money in the market or someone who watched a Discovery Channel show about Warren Buffet. Talk is cheap, but not if you follow the advice and go in the crapper. If you want to learn how to do something, find someone who is doing it and ask them how, ask them to mentor you. Ask them to coach you, advise you, sit on your board. We’ve lost track of the apprentice model of business. Back in the day, if you wanted to be a master craftsman, you sought out a master craftsman and studied under them. Today, everyone says they are a ‘master craftsman’ butt they’ve never picked up a tool in their life. When taking advice, consider the source and don’t jump through any hoops that the lion tamer hasn’t jumped through themselves.

I have said time and time again (and even wrote about it in “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business”) that it is a mistake to expect fairness in business. You can’t control how people act, but you can control who you do business with. Even being focused on working with the right people, you’ll still find yourself staring at someone who thinks they can take advantage of a situation and that you’ll roll over and take it. This my friends is a time for you to rely on your agreements. You don’t have an agreement you say? Well, what the hell were you thinking? Did you you think that everything was going to be rainbows and unicorns? Did you think that at some point, that Dr. Jekyll didn’t have a little Mr. Hyde in them? My dad had a saying:

“Business is business and friendship is bullshit. Your friends will fuck you over money if they get the chance.”

I always thought the old guy was a little too worried about getting worked over, but after my technology idea went sideways, I learned to have things in writing. If a deal is worth doing, it’s worth having in writing. But having the agreement is only the first half. The second half is enforcement. A contract is worthless if you won’t enforce it. The great thing about this is we have a legal system that will interpret the contract and determine who is in the right, and who is in the wrong. A client of mine is struggling to get paid by a client. She has an agreement and she is taking this dirt bag into small claims court to collect the money. It isn’t about the money (it rarely is). It’s about not getting rimmed by someone who thinks you are a pushover. You can be nice right until the point where they take advantage of you. And then, you let the agreement speak for itself.

Get all your business dealings in writing. Take it from a guy who is never surprised how far people will go to kite someone else, a signed contract simplifies a lot of legal issues. And if someone tries to take advantage of you, go the distance. You owe it to yourself and to your business.

Last week I spent a couple of days doing training for HSBC Securities in Toronto. As part of our agreement, they flew my first class from Vancouver to Toronto. I am a firm believer of flying first class. Aside from the additional space (which I require at 6’6″), there is a business case for flying in a more civilized way:

1. I spent a total of 9 hours in the air. I was able to complete 8 hours of work at a billable rate of $400/hour. I billed $3,200 in time in the air. I was able to lay out my laptop, my paperwork, all while enjoying a continuous coffee service. In coach I understand that it is almost impossible to have our laptop out if someone is ahead of you and reclining in the slightest. You are banging elbows with the person next to you, trying to keep any additional paperwork on your lap, and heaven forbid you have an aisle seat. Someone has to ‘tinkle’ and you are up with your work product in your arms. The flight was on sale at $2K but even at $4K, I bought back 8 hours of workable time that would have been other wise wasted watching “Free Willie 6 – Isn’t that fish dead yet?”
2. Flying is a waste of time. If you can get your work done, you get from point A to B AND bill work that you would normally try to do waiting at the airport, or when you get to your hotel. My work was done by the time we landed so I could relax in the hotel and have a good night’s sleep.
3. Most first class fares come with access to the business lounge. If you are in some shitty airport that doesn’t offer WiFi, the lounge will get you connected to dump work product when you land or upload it before you board.
4. You meet interesting people in first class/business class. You get the odd upgrader (someone using their points), but in most cases, you are with either the rich (no much business value) or other senior level professionals that you can chat with. I made two great connections on the way to Toronto and one on the way back.

I hear all the time that ‘first class is a waste of money’. Yes, and so is wearing leather shoes, eating out in restaurants, and going to a movie. Life’s too short to be a money martyr. Don’t think about “why you can’t afford to fly first class”. Think, “what can I do to make enough to fly first class?”

Consider flying first class or at least business class if: A) You are flying over 3 hours and B) You bill more than $200/hour. By getting your work done on the plane, with lots of room, not only can you arrive and relax, but you remind yourself that you are building a profitable business so that business class isn’t a luxury, it’s the only option.

Remember, friends don’t let friends fly coach.

Cheers,

C/

(p.s. Yes I know that whales aren’t fish.)

My seat

First class on an Airbus 330. (Air Canada)

One student told me how much money she would make me if I hired her. Yet, she doesn’t make any money for herself nor has any proof that he has done this anywhere else. Does anyone see the gap in logic here? What if instead she said, “I’m eager to learn what you have to teach me. I’ll do what you ask of me. I’m prepared to work hard to show you that you are making the right decision with me.”

With prospective business partners, it is more of the same. I have some budding entrepreneurs showcasing how we can make money together (which I like) only to then put demands in place on how I will work with them. What I learned (after getting punted out a lot of deals) is that my good ideas were shit if I couldn’t deploy them. I could take my ball and go home, but I ended up having a house full of balls with no value. Everything I have today was because of the sacrafices I made to learn the ‘craft’ of building business. I got my ass handed to me 5 or 6 times before it finally got into my young, thick head, that I might have a good idea, but without the right direction and leverage, my idea was just that…an idea. I guess that’s why I love Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank. Entrepreneurs come in telling the investors how much their company is worth. Many are valuing at $1,000,000 but have fuck all for sales. “Yes, but I know this is going to be really good. You can count on me!” Sorry Muppet, you can’t pay the bills with ‘hopes and dreams’. When you stop ‘buying your own PR’ and realize that you don’t have any credibility nor experience in the market, you’ll be ready to learn. If you think you know everything already, you’ll never be able to receive new instruction.

For me, ideas I was hot for a week ago, are now starting to feel a bit weird for me. Am I prepared to teach? Yes. Am I prepared to argue/debate a point with someone who doesn’t know how to build a business model…no. I think what is best when you find yourself in this situation is to let the other side who ‘knows’ what they are doing, space to do it. The best test of talent is to put it into the market and see how the market responds.  I’ve been known to miss opportunities by letting things go. I’ve also saved myself a lot of frustration and disappointment by betting on ‘dogs that can’t hunt’. Let your intuition guide you. Better safe than frustrated. If someone has all the answers, don’t offer your support. They don’t need it. The market can be a cruel bitch. She sorts things out for people who ‘know everything’.

What’s the value of a recent grad? The value is in direct relation to their willingness to learn practical application after four years of theory. Just because you watched Rocky 100 times doesn’t mean you know how to box when life smacks you upside the head. For grads, heres a simple equation for you to figure out and justify what you bring to the table:

(# of valuable business contacts /not friends from school)

x

(years developing business)

x

(# of successful business start ups )

x

(your ability to ask good questions and take direction)

x

(your specialized skill set that no one else has)

x

(reputation in the market you want to enter)

=

professional value.

What’s yours?

C/

I wanted to make a statement for all the business professionals out there that are getting more and more frustrated with poor cell phone manners. It is time for the pikers of the business world to get over their belief that they are important. Unless you are a trauma surgeon, a first-response paramedic, or in some other position that manages life and death…you don’t need to check your Blackberry/PDA/iPhone during a meeting/presentation/lecture or other business event.

I remember being the first guy on university campus with a cell phone. I’d walk around with it in my hand to make sure that people could see that I had it. I was a total douche, but to my own defense, I was 19 and cell phones were the new hot thing. Now I see people checking their email during our meetings and I think one thing…why am I sitting here? I’m not talking about people looking to reference an email pertaining to the meeting, going through a digital agenda/checklist. I’m talking about people that need to check their phone every couple of minutes just to make sure that the outside world can reach them. Notice to these people. No one is impressed by you being a ‘bitch’ to your communication piece.

I remember the story of a media mogul. He didn’t have a cell phone nor a watch. When asked why he didn’t have a cell phone, he said that if someone wanted to get a hold of him, they could call his assistant and she would come and find him. He didn’t wear a watch because he didn’t have to keep a schedule for anyone but himself. This is a man in power of his business life. Now we look at the individuals that waste my time by looking at their phone/pda while in the middle of a meeting .Then they wonder why I try to get out of the meeting as quickly as humanly possible. If you can’t put your phone down for a one hour meeting, you shouldn’t be in meetings. You aren’t a mogul, you aren’t important, and you aren’t impressing anyone. What you are telling people is:

• You think you are more important than you are
• Any email that might come in is more important than our time together
• You are controlled by technology rather than having control of technology
• You shit the bed so often that you need to have your phone on so when one of your fuck-ups comes to light, you can quickly defend your actions

In January, to start a new year off with a bang, as soon as I see someone checking their voicemail,email,text, etc during a meeting, I’m going to excuse myself and find something else to do. Remember that you can’t control how others act, but you can control interaction. Oh and I should add…it isn’t ever appropriate to take a phone call in a restaurant or movie theatre. If I am in a restaurant (by myself) and a call comes in, I leave the table and move into the lobby of the restaurant so as not to disturb others. It’s called courtesy.

So now that you know, you can’t unknown. When you answer a phone, check your email, or text someone during a meeting, the person across from you might not say it, but they are thinking you are a douche.

Ladies, I need to tell you something. Everytime you tell people you work with what your husband/boyfriend thinks about a situation in your work life, you make him look like a douche and yourself like a weak woman who needs her man to explain things to her. This week, I have heard no less than 11 women talk about a situation in their business life and then justify their position by saying what their husband/boyfriend thought.

Example:

“I really felt that I was treated unfair in the deal. I didn’t get the percentage that I wanted and was hoping things would have turned out differently. Bob (husband) agreed and said that I should have stuck to my guns and asked for more or walked way.”

So on hearing this comment, my natural curiosity wonders what Bob does for a living. The woman sharing the story is an established entrepreneur so I’m assuming Bob is a business owner, business lawyer, accountant, business developer, sales rep, sales manager, or investment banker. Bob’s feedback must have value if it is confirming her position. So I ask…”What does Bob do?”   “Oh…he’s a produce clerk at Save On Foods.”

Are you shitting me? You husband stocks onions and you are bringing him up as a reliable champion for your position? You husband is the manager of fruits and vegetables. What the hell does he know about putting a deal together. Never having the guts to run his business, he gets to be co-captain and give his two bits? I think not. When you bring up your husband/boyfriend in a business setting, please make sure that he has accomplished something other than lining up all the new potatoes in a neat line. Do you know how foolish it looks to bring him up in a ‘real-world’ setting? If the conversation was around how to keep herbs fresh in the kitchen, Bob’s your man. But when it comes to business, if your husband hasn’t achieved anything in your business sphere, don’t bring him up.

I know, you are proud of him. He’s a great guy. Funny. Likes to watch America’s Next Top Model with you. He is supportive, likes to give you feedback, and wants the best for you. But in business, he has no value at the discussion. If you are the business woman, be the business woman. Unless hubby/boyfriend is an ‘expert’ in the area of the conversation, don’t bring him up. It makes you look weak, and your peers will lose respect for you. It happens to me everyday. Someone I know will be having a problem they want to discuss. Then they tell me what their husband/boyfriend thinks they should do. At that moment, I lose a bit of respect. If he is a lawyer and its a law issue, let’s hear what he has to say. If it is a business development issue, and he works part time as a free lance writer, its best for you to keep his comments to himself.

In business, there are many arm chair quarterbacks. They will all have opinions for you and unfortunately, you have a hard time avoiding them. But let the madness stop there. When you regurgitate their idiot comments (ones which they have now foundation to comment on) you look like an idiot as well.