Christopher V. Flett

I spent the last week in Seattle working with clients, doing presentations, and staying dry. In between sessions in person, I had clients on the phone and two in particular came to mind when writing this post. Both are women, both are partners, and both have a male counterpart (or counterparts) that are not following rules stipulated in partnership agreements. In both cases, the situation relates to money derived from originating work. Men feel as though they are the breadwinners of the family, both when they have wives that stay at home or wives that work, but make considerable less than they do. Because of this pre-set mindset, men will look at female counterparts and if they have husbands that work, will assume that the husband makes more. They will justify taking more in the partnership because they ‘need to feed their families’ and their female counterpart has a ‘husband paying the bills‘.

First of all, in both cases, the women make more than their husbands, but aside from that, it doesn’t matter if she has a husband, how much he makes, or if she has to work or not. It comes down to fairness. Equal work for equal pay. This might not happen in the employment arena as it should, but it MUST happen in the business world between partners. This is why we have partnership agreements. To set the rules of the relationship BEFORE money taints things. When money gets involved, people get greedy. I don’t care who you poll, money changes the dynamic. If a female partner is making less, but doing equal work, how do you think this plays for her being committed to her partners and growing the business. Why grow it if she isn’t being fairly treated. This separation in pay is the old model of business. The new model is everyone gets taken care of and you treat each other fairly. An interesting point is when I asked how they felt about their partners, both said that they thought they were ‘great guys’, but weren’t being fair in remuneration.

Okay, tough love time. These guys are not ‘good guys’ because ‘good guys’ don’t take more than their share from their partners. Good guys take care of their partners, their staffs, and their clients. Good guys respect partnership agreements and follow them because they have given their word to do so. Guys will take advantage if you let them so you need to be clear with expectations and not back down. That 4000 lb elephant in the room in ‘inequity’ and needs to be addressed rather than learning to ‘live with it’. It isn’t about going on the attack, becoming emotional, or striking out. It’s about objectively identifying the inequity, stating what needs to happen to bring things back in line and settling for nothing less than what is fair. Do not ignore the elephant or it will trample you in the long term. When dealing with this situation, I’d recommend the following recourse:

1. Clearing state what the situation is
2. Define how it has deviated from what would be commonly considered fair and in line with previous agreements
3. Invite the person involved in the discrepancy into dialogue
4. Explain the situation and what you want the outcome to be
5. Come to a new agreement or if the other side isn’t agreeable, explore options to come to agreement (without giving up your position)
6. If you are in an employment setting, suggest a third (non-biased) party to come in and give objective opinion
7. First seek to understand and then to be understood. In most cases, the other side is driven by fear. Identify what the fear is so you can better understand what is driving them.

Situations like this left unaddressed create nothing but negativity in the work environment. You’ll see yourself starting to sabotage the relationship, deals, and opportunities out of spite. Professionals put on their professional face, deal objectively (as possible) with the situation, and seek resolution. Do not roll over on things like this that are important. It is better to die on your legs than to live on your knees. Stand up for yourself, what you feel is fair, and ask for what you want.

As always, I welcome your comments and or related stories.

C/

p.s. Interesting point, an additional three clients after the two on the phone came forward with similar situations. Must be the new year! Theme of 2011: “Fairness to all involved.”