Christopher V. Flett

I’ve been tardy in getting comments into this online platform due to launching the licensing components of a few new exciting business models i’ve been lucky enough to be involved in. All of them are either focused on women, or moms, and just today I had a woman ask me, “Do you think being a parent is an advantage or disadvantage in business?” Without really thinking about it, I blurted out, “It’s a major advantage because having kids means you don’t get to quit.”

Granted, there are markets available only to parents and moms are very supportive of other moms. But for me, watching first from the outside in and now from the inside out, having kids removes your ability to say, “I can’t do this.” In business, talent only plays a small role in success. The bigger role is the mindset that you will not quit until you figure it out. While I’ve had more than my share of failures, now that I have kids, I can’t go home, hat in hand, and tell them that I failed because I gave up. I think this must only get stronger when you have teenagers. We, as parents, know that we can inject into our kids the belief systems that will either make them leaders, or make them sheep. Will you tell your kids all the things they CAN do, or all the things they CAN’T do? The great thing about kids, is they understand  ’lip service’. If you do one thing, and say another.

A woman I know through social circles, has been struggling the past few months. She is selling a product that has an extremely long sales cycle, and has made some fundamental missteps this year. She told me ‘that she didn’t believe she could do it anymore.” I looked at her and she waited to find out what I thought. Finally, I said, “I believe you.” She looked both shocked and relieved. She said, “That wasn’t what I thought you were going to say. I though you were going to say that I should keep my chin up, focus on the end goal, and do the work.” I replied, “I know that’s what it takes, but I don’t think you have it in you to commit to that course. Rather, I think you should go home, sit down your 12 year old and 17 year old, and tell them that when things get tough, you should give up.” She said with a flicker of anger, “I would never say that to them.” I said, “Doesn’t matter if you say it, they’ll see it.” She got upset and asked why I was such a hard ass. I told her that when you are a single person, you can do whatever you want. Go to Europe, live on beaches, explore life. But when you become a parent, you have to hold yourself to higher standards. Model the behavior of a winner, not of a quitter. If you don’t want to build business for your self and your own self respect, do it for your kids. Show them that once you start something, you see it through. My dad taught me, “excuses are for losers” and anytime I’m about to make and excuse, I am reminded of the lesson, and continue on.

Can you quit on your entrepreneurial endeavours? Yes. You simply may not be a true entrepreneur. But if you think you are a true business owner, and you are just finding it hard, think of what you would say to your kids when they come to you and say, “I want to quit school because it is hard. There are other things I could do, but I don’t think this high school thing is for me.” What would you say? “Okay, quit. Try something else and if you don’t like that, then quit. And so on…” I don’t think any parent aspires to raising a quitter and in hand, you should ensure your actions don’t speak louder than words.